Over at MTV.com they’ve posted a piece on the musicians they are most thankful for this year. Since MTV doesn’t actually show any music these days I’m guessing that actual music or music-related topics are discussed exclusively online.
Anyway, if you check out the article you’ll see that they list an artist and then explain why they’re thankful. Of course we here at SuckPolice are not thankful for any of these musical abortions, I mean just check out the artists they list, damn. So we are here to tell you why these artists and what they’ve done sucks, because that is our civic duty.
Kanye West
Why We’re Not Thankful: If there is anyone more annoying than Kanye West, please let me know. First, he puts the Bonnaroo Festival to shame and proves once again that he sucks live. Just imagine how awesome it was to see his “Glow In The Dark” tour during the day. Then, he whines and moans about not winning EUROPEAN MTV awards. He also, almost single-handedly bombarded the “hip-hop” industry with a barrage of shitty auto-tuned tracks. This will probably continue as a trend until about 2014.
Metallica
Why We’re Not Thankful: “The biggest metal band in the world came back with a vengeance.” Yea, if by vengeance you mean an overloaded, over-compressed piece of digital garbage in the form of “Death Magnetic.” While the album isn’t too bad and does in some ways show a return to form, it being mastered so loud destroyed any chance the album will ever have of achieving any sort of legit-status. Also, it still kind of sounds like “St. Anger.”
Death Cab for Cutie
Why We’re Not Thankful: I totally can admit to liking the first single from Death Cab’s last album “Narrow Stairs.” While “I Will Posses Your Heart” is a good song, it doesn’t really deserve to be praised as challenging and different because the intro of the song is super long. If you think it’s “different & challenging” that a band can play the same riff over and over again, well you’re just kinda stupid.
Britney Spears
Why We’re Not Thankful: Her so called “comeback” as a normal person is total BS. We all know that Britney is still bat-shit loco and that she just got a new PR team. She honestly gets way too much press, now everybody’s ready to support this bitch again? Wha?
Lil Wayne
Why We’re Not Thankful: Lil’ Wayne definitely deserves some respect for proving that in an age of illegal downloading and a sagging economy that it’s still possible to sell 1 million records in a week. It still doesn’t change the fact that he’s a cracked-out retard who can’t rap and has really really stupid tattoo’s all over his face.
Hope you enjoyed all the stuff we’re not thankful for! Happy Thanksgiving from the SuckPolice!
